Zoe and Loki
by Kkakamaroosh77
Summary: Zoe's diary: Zoe is a student with a cat called Legolas and is possibly the luckiest person ever. On a dark and stormy night Loki invites himself in for dinner. Loki gets bitch slapped with an atlas, Zoe becomes a hair dresser. OC. Own universe.


_This is a short account of what was quite possibly the weirdest night of my life.  
Enjoy._

I suppose the story starts about here. I was standing in front of the stove, stirring my soup-y rice-y dinner-y thing. It was early autumn and it was raining. I've always liked the smell of rain, as weird as that may sound, and it wasn't cold outside, so the back door of my ground floor apartment (more of a broom cupboard) was wide open to let the clean air in.

I didn't notice it happening, but when I looked up the once quiet rain was pouring from the sky, and thunder occasionally accompanied by an innocuous flash had started up. As I pulled my dinner off the stove a bolt of lightning struck the chair outside with a blinding flash and an incredibly loud _crack._ My cat ran to me and pounced, clinging to my denim clad leg with his stupid claws.

'_Fuck!' _I spat, ripping howling cat off my leg and throwing him aside. 'And shut up Legolas, you're not helping.' I said to the hissing thing.

I tentatively walked over and poked my head out the door to look up stupidly, as if I could see where the lightning came from. A few seconds of soaking my face to no avail I pulled my head back indoors, quickly scooping my dinner stuff into a bowl and retreating to the cushions on my floor (I was too poor to worry about lounge furniture).

'I'm sorry Legolas.' I cooed, scratching him between the ears. 'I swear I love you, just not when you hang off my skin by your claws.' He purred but was still twitchy from the lightning. I sighed and laughed manically to myself, as one does when they're totally alone and slightly traumatized. Well, I do anyway.

'Love is quite a strong emotion for a mere pet.' Voice: unfamiliar. I look up. Face: don't know it. Smile: Fucking terrifying. I threw Legolas at the intruders face, and picked up my hardback oxford world atlas, ready to swing it like a baseball bat. I couldn't see his face, there was a ball of screeching fur in the way. He was wearing a long black cloak and some other weird clothes; gauntlets, shoulder plates, green embellishments on the arms and abdomen. Was there some kind of nerd convention it town? No; if there was, that's where I would have been.

'BY ODIN'S BEARD GET THIS INFERNAL CREATURE OFF ME! AAAARGH!' he wrestled with Legolas before heaving him of his face and casting him aside, then turning to face me. I tensed, ready for attack.

'What, for all the nine realms, _what_ was that for?!' He yelled. English accent. Interesting. He was soaked, his shoulder length black hair hanging limp around his strikingly pale face (a little scratched up by then). He sounded angry, but he looked more shocked than anything else.

'Who the fuck are you sunshine, and what are you doing in my house?!' I demanded.

'Imbecile! How dare you!? For what reason does one, unprovoked, set such a sharp taloned creature upon an innocent?! And this tiny chamber could hardly classify as a house!'

I whacked him with my atlas. Twice.

'Ouch!'

'Answer me or I swear to god I will call the police reporting manslaughter. Who are you, and _why are you in my house?!' _

The man stepped back, holding his hands out from him. 'My name is Loki Laufeyson, and I was merely seeking refuge.'

'From the rain? In_ my living room?' _I asked doubtfully. And what kind of a name was Loki? He scoffed at my suggestion.

'No, from my brother.' He glances out the door. I didn't take my eyes off him. 'I swear on the branches of Yggdrasil, I mean you no harm. I ask nothing of you but a place to hide until the storm has ended.' At this point I was thinking that he was a freak, but not a particularly dangerous one. And he didn't smell like he'd been living on the streets for an extended period of time. I lowered the atlas, and pointed to my cushion-ey floor.

'You, sit there. If you move I'll throw Legolas at your face again.' I threatened. The man, Loki, gracefully sat down on a cushion, flinching away when Legolas tried to scratch is head on Loki's boot. He started shivering gently, probably because he was absolutely soaking. I fell back into a lean on the bench, tapping my fingers, considering my options. He was very… long, and in his mid to late twenties, maybe. All legs and fingers, with a really sharp pair of cheekbones. Yeah, they were _nice_. I grabbed my bowl and started eating, still watching him. He was twitchy. Especially around Legolas.

I cleared my throat. 'You hungry?'

'Hm?'

'Are you hungry? Would you like some food?' I asked, slowly.

'Oh, yes.' He said quickly.

'Right.' I muttered, grabbing a bowl.

'What is this?' he asked when I handed it over, raising one condescending eyebrow. I glared down at him.

'Food. If you don't want it I'll take it back.'

He lifted the spoon and let the rice-y vegetable-y stuff slop off back into the bowl. 'It doesn't look very appetizing, does it?' He said. I nearly growled with annoyance, reaching out to snatch it back. He drew it towards himself, like a bloody three year old.

'You could say thankyou.' I snapped as he took a mouthful.

'Indeed.' He muttered, stuffing his pretty face. I slammed my hand into the doorframe, not making any noise, just letting off steam. I strode over to the back door, shutting it. It was still raining heavily outside. I sighed, and again retreated to the kitchen, where I could be separate from, but still watch Loki. What should I do? Let him stay until the storm passed or kick him out now? I've never been a Good Samaritan, and I was still very suspicious of Loki.

I snatched up my laptop, and using the flat above's Wi-Fi checked the radar. It showed a single, still storm cell right over the city. Which never happens. Ever. I shut my laptop, and looked up to find Loki staring me in the face. I shrieked and snatched the biggest knife I owned out of the block, pointing it at him.

'Did you forget what I said before? Jesus!' I shouted. Like before, Loki raised his hands, taking a step back.

'I apologise, I did not mean to frighten you.' He backs up further. 'Um, could lower your weapon?'

I let my breath out in a puff and lowered the knife. 'Sorry. You've got to understand, I don't let strange people into where I live. You could say I'm a little on edge.'

He chuckled. Probably not at my unintentional pun, but my seriously jumpy state. 'That may be a slight understatement.' I could only manage a shrug in response. 'I am sorry to intrude. And it was never my intention to make you anxious.'

'It's fine.' I said, and looked up. His hair was staring to dry. And his eyes, ugh, I wish I could describe just how _gorgeous_ they were. 'I have trust issues.'

'Clearly.'

'Hey don't push your luck, I could kick you out right now.' I said. He looked doubtful.

'I apologise.' He paused. 'Perhaps it would be easier to trust me if you knew a little more about me. And vice versa.'

'You don't trust me?'

'Why should I? I do not even know something as inconsequential as your name.' He pointed out.

'Zoe.' I said. 'My name is Zoe.'

A pleasure to meet you, Zoe.' Loki said, bowing his head politely. 'What is your occupation?'

'I'm, well, a student, but I work part time at a café, and pull drinks at The Elephant and Wheelbarrow every other night.' I blurted.

'Do you study geography?' He asked, eyeing my atlas where it sat on the floor.

I laughed nervously. 'No, I'm studying to be an architect.' I said. 'What about you?'

'I suppose that you could say I'm currently unemployed. I have quite an impressive inheritance that comes with huge responsibility. While it is not my obligation yet, wheels have been set in motion, and there is much to be done.'

I was a little suspicious of his vague reply, but I didn't press the matter. 'Okay then, How about this; who is your brother, and why are you hiding from him _here_?'

He made a sound which I have no way of describing, other than it being a bizarre mix of disgust and eagerness.

'That oaf. He's after me for insulting him.'

'What did you call him?'

'Nothing. I simply stated that he was foolish, dull, incapable of deception, and his only notable strength was accredit to the mighty Mjolnir.' He said plainly.

'… myol-neer?'

'A weapon of great power.' He clarified, but still being quite vague.

'What else.' I muttered. 'But why _here?_'

'I want to see if he can find me.' Loki told me. And that was when I realized that I was helping this quite possibly insane man in a bizarre game of hide and seek.

Brilliant.

Our conversation had deepened over time. I told him about my family, my friends, people I admired, people I hated. He was remarkably easy to talk to, his green eyes pulling me in. Yet I still knew almost nothing about him. At one point he pulled a deck of foreign cards from his long black coat, baffling me over and over again when cards revealed themselves and disappeared. I pulled one card from the deck and held it behind my back; when I looked at it again it was a different card, and Loki would show me the card I was sure I was holding. Eventually we even migrated from the kitchen bench to the cushioned floor.

'I'm bored.' Loki suddenly stated, sitting up and tapping his fingers. It was so late that we were both lying on the cushions. I wearily opened my eyes; while I wasn't sleeping, I was too tired keep them open all the time.

'Well, I'm not keeping you here, am I.' I said grumpily, groaning again when I looked at the clock and saw that it was almost three in the morning. There was no way I was going to go to sleep with Loki there. The storm was still going strong. I tilted my head back and looked to Loki, where he now sat against the wall. I didn't get up; Legolas was fast asleep on my stomach. If I moved before he woke the claws would come out. That gave me an idea.

'Okay Loki, I have a challenge for you.' I said. His mood immediately brightened.

'Go on.'

'See if you can trim the claws of Legolas here without waking him or having him dig his claws into my stomach.' I challenged. If he could at least do one paw, it would spare me the pain of doing it later.

'What are the terms?' He asked.

'Terms?'

'Of our bet, of course.'

'I dunno, you think of something.' I said. Loki paused, thinking.

'If I win and cut all his claws, back and front legs, you have to turn on that music device of yours,' he pointed to my stereo, 'and turn it up to full volume for the duration of a song of my choosing.' I swallowed hard. I did not want to wake up my neighbours, not under any circumstances. Then again, I had faith in Legolas. There is no way anyone could cut all his claws without sustaining injury.

'Fine. And if you lose, you have to let me cut off… two inches of those ebony locks of yours.' He looked hesitant. 'Come on, you wanted a bet. Or you could back out, I guess, but that wouldn't be nearly as much fun.' I said, egging him on.

'How much is an inch?' he asked. I held up my hand, indicating the length. 'It's a deal.' He said after some hesitation. 'Where do you keep your shears?'

'In the little case on the end of the bench.' I instructed. He went over and got my nail scissors, before taking a seat beside me. Legolas was happily lolling across my middle, legs stretched out all over the place. He'd be easy to reach, but also easy to disturb. I looked up at Loki's pale face, framed by that lovely dark hair, as he developed a plan of attack.

'Worried about losing all that pretty hair, Loki?' I teased. The expression he had when he look down at me was chilling.

'Not as worried as you should be about ruining your relationships with all your neighbors.' He said icily. I swallowed. He gently lifted one paw. Legolas twitched. He moved the scissors into place, and cut. Once. Twice. Then, on the third claw Legolas snapped awake and scratched my stomach, yowling.

'Fuck!' I exclaimed as his claws sunk in.

'Nooooooooo!' Loki bellowed, his hands immediately going to his hair. I coaxed Legolas off me; he trotted away hissing. Loki looked enraged. Not just cross, or upset, or annoyed; but _enraged._ 'Stupid creature! Now look what you've done!' he threw a cushion at Legolas as he retreated.

I held out my hand, smirking. 'Hand over the scissors buddy.'

Loki handed over the scissors without protest, but he wasn't exactly enthusiastic. I experimentally snipped off one black lock, noticing him wince. I decided to be nice, because he wasn't trying to back out of the bet, and he had pretty hair. Just as I was gathering it around my hand, ready to start snipping, lighting struck again. This time it was the door frame, and despite the fact that lightning doesn't make things spontaneously explode, the glass in the door did so anyway.

Between Legolas and me screaming, a huge man barged though the door. This one, blonde hair, red cape, armour, big hammer, _big muscles_. He strode is and grabbed Loki by the collar, before heaving him out through the smashed doorway, _right before I was about to cut his hair._ But it was too late, they were gone. And I am genuinely sorry that I can't be more descriptive, but it happened too fast. There was noise and light and flying degree, and they were gone.

But they didn't just run out. No, they went up. Mr Cape twirled his massive hammer so fast it became a blur, and they lifted off. I ran outside to see them go; to make sure I wasn't completely crazy; and yes, there they were, shooting up into the clouds.

The rain stopped as soon as they were gone.

_It took some time for me to recover; I was in shock until dawn, and Legolas was in shock for the next week. I fell asleep on the cushions, and when I woke up I was tempted to believe it was all a dream. But no. The door was in ruins, and there were two souvenirs from Loki's visit. A beautiful playing card, and a lock of his black hair, which smelt really good._

_Yes, I did indeed smell his hair. Deal with it._

_I googled Loki. Norse god of mischief, and his brother was Thor, god of lighting. Mjolnir was the mighty weapon that Loki spoke of, the one that smashed through my door and meant I had to borrow money and starve for a month to pay off the damages._

_So would I rather that they never showed up? Then, yes. They gave me so much crap to deal with, and I did question the nature of existence for a while there. But now, no, because Jesus, how many people does that happen to?_

_Anyway, that's the story of how my life was so rudely barged in upon by two Norse gods._

_-Zoe._


End file.
